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raychurraychur5 vuotta sitten
DISCLAIMER - I do not intend on making this post to have a pity party for myself of anything. I understand my actions and am posting this (which is VERY personal) just incase someone else might be going through the same thing.


Hello all,

I have learned a very valuable lesson. Being an adult is really hard. Managing money is really hard. But most of all, Compulsive Shopping is the worst.

Now, let me set the stage for you. I am 23 years old and graduated college and got married only a year ago. This is the first time I have lived 'on my own' and not had much contact with my family. I am employed full-time at an awesome design firm that is doing very well and my husband works at FCA (Chrysler) designing cars. So, our outrageously expensive private uni degrees helped us be able to be getting a very good income. We pay everything ourselves, phone bill, apartment bill, student loans, car payments, etc. So no help from our relatives or anything which I think is a great achievement for someone my age. I don't want to seem like I am gloating or anything! I just want you to get the point that I am still being a responsible person and that this is not something that is ruining mine or anyone else's life.

Since I was little I have had a really terrible case of depression. I don't like talking about it because again, I want no pity from anyone and I don't want others to think badly of me. It is important to say this though because one of my weaknesses is compulsive shopping.

I never used to shop like these past two months, I have a monthly budget planned out to the t. I know what I can and cannot spend on personal things. I have a set limit to spend on figures per month. So why all of a sudden did I just kick that budget down the stairs and watch it die?

In the past two months I have been 'unconsciously' winning more auctions than I ever thought I would. . There is a website called Buyee that is owned by a forwarding service called Tenso. Buyee allows you to easily bid on Yahoo Japan Auctions for a very low fee. I love Buyee and I would recommend it to anyone on this website wholeheartedly. I have been using Buyee and Tenso for a good amount of time and I trust both businesses to handle my orders and I have always gotten good service (Sorry for the quick 'shout out').

Anyway, I was finding some amazing deals (I got ITEM #26795 for about $27 TOTAL) and I have the personally that feels like, I won't win anyway so it won't hurt to try. Well. . shit, I kept winning. . and before I knew it I had gone way over my budget.

In total I bought 13 scales, 1 RAH, 2 dakimakura, 14 books, and some clothes that no one here probably cares about among other things.

Now, I sort of spent this money behind my husbands back!! I STILL FEEL LIKE SCUM BECAUSE OF IT! But, he could see everything I was buying on our shared account and never said anything (probably because he wasn't paying any attention). So, I finally told him that I probably have a problem and I need to stop. He was mad but not as mad as I expected. He said he noticed all the packagings I've been getting and thought something was up (but never investigated it) and was waiting for me to say something to him. .

At this moment in time I am in a way 'forbidden' to spend any money on hobbies or things that I won't die without. I was also made to cancel all of my preorders except for one that I had already paid for. I am upset but it is 100% my fault and I do deserve some punishment. I am expected not to need spend money until I can raise the amount I've spent which (with other purchases from different sites and things I got) is about $2000. How the hell did I spend that much in so little time?? I let myself get out of control. I now am taking up freelancing jobs, selling stuff and oddly enough I got a raise last week? (What great timing). I have in the past two weeks made back about $150 from selling things so I think I am doing okay. .

Now why am I telling strangers this? I feel like it is a mixture of being able to finally tell someone about something that is stressing me out and that hopefully if someone else is in a similar situation that they will think to just stop what they are doing.

I regret letting this happen. I feel horrible about it. But, I can't understand why I want to shop so badly? I feel like just knowing I am not able to spend money is freaking me out. But that makes me feel selfish because there are people that are not as lucky as me that have worse problems and that this is nothing to get upset about. Which then makes me feel worse about myself. . which makes me want to buy things. .

I'm not sure how depression and anxiety are influencing me to make these bad chooses. My husband says that when he was my age (he is 7 years older than me) that when he got his first job he did the same thing. That he spent money on stuff he didn't need because he knew that he could afford it. So at least he understands that much of it. . He does frustrate me though by acting like I have such a toxic hobby with figures and that online shopping helps me cope with being upset but then he turns around and smokes?? Its a stupid e-cigeratte thing but still! But I guess smoking is only directly effecting him while my spending effects both of us. My husband complains that I spent the beginning amount of our 'baby savings' but I don't expect having a baby anytime soon and starting to save now seems really pointless. .

I think I just wanted to get some stuff off my chest and rant for awhile. .
If you read all of this thank you for being interested?
5,171 osumaa • 0 suosikki24 kommenttia

kommenttia24

Kirenisa I am a collector!
There there, we all make mistakes TRUST me I recently ran into a situation I'm barely climbing out of with pre-order by accident believe it or not. ( ̄へ ̄;)

I PO'ed some stuff for May, June and July however I always forget think of a chance of delay! and sometimes when delays happen I spend the money for that figure. Well that's exactly what I did when I found out my may figure was delayed till June. HOWEVER I still had enough but here's the kicker my cat got extremely ill and I ended up with a $375 vet bill sitting on my lap.

Luckily though My mom kindly payed it for me as I agreed to slowly make payments and pay her back since I don't like to be in debt I pay people back asap if I ever borrow. Well here's the kicker it's 2 parts she asked me why I was hurting so bad for cash I had to explain I had to put money to the side for pre-orders BECAUSE I pre-ordered from GSC since they don't allow cancellations and I've had them charge me regardless if I had the funds before. (so I'm well aware I have to pay them or else I'll have over draw charges)

She told me I should save and plan ahead more often well I soon realized also a figure I pre-ordered was also suppose to release in July which I some how miss read for September! Now mind you this figure is priced around 16,000 yen + my July pre orders and 1 June delayed pre-order. So now I'm paying my mom back about $100 a month but luckily she agreed to that because my July pre-orders went from around 14,000 yen to almost 30,000 yen because i miss read a figure release date.

The thing is I PO to much especially lately and sometimes I feel bad because I really shouldn't! or I'll barley make it through the month or barley have enough to cover my bills these last 2 months. (ι´Д`)ノ

I too suffer from depression, Bipolar, Social anxiety, PCOS, ect and I don't have any friends or anything really so admittedly in a way Anime helps me cope.
5 vuotta sitten
Shirokage5 vuotta sitten#3106476

The stupid thing is he used to smoke until we got together. He hadn't smoked in about 4 years now and he just bought an e-cigarette I think because his coworkers all smoke and its driving him crazy? I told him I was really against it and he just said that he's miserable without smoking and he couldn't handle it anymore so he got one and is obsessed.

I told him that I don't trust it because no one really knows what the health risks are. . I also told him that he MUST stop when we have children finally (but I'm not planning on doing that for 2 more years).
5 vuotta sitten
If you take nothing else I have to say in terms of advice, at least do this for me. Take a deep breath. Release nice and slow. Take another deep breath and let it out gently. One more for good measure, in and out.

You are going to be okay.

You've already taken many steps to repeat this from happening again and you are fully aware of what consequences are brought about by your actions. I'll say it again, you are going to be okay. Figures are not a toxic hobby and wanting to have a baby in the future is a huge goal to keep in mind. You can still purchase things as long as you use moderation and foresight. As good as deal as a figure can be, let it go if you are on the fence. Budget your money like you used to and you'll be back to where you were in no time. This is a lesson that needed to be learned and you learned it. Take the positives of the experience with you. Do that, and you will be just fine.
5 vuotta sitten
Lol I was actually going to make a post like this since I'm in almost the exact same situation as you.
Same age, recent college grad, miraculously came into a job, and now I find myself spending a ridiculous amount of money on figures. I don't have a spouse I have to hide it from though, lol. But I was raised in a very fiscally conservative household, and up until recently, I was happy and comfortable with the rate I was spending money. And all of a sudden, I'm spending more than a grand on figures and other stuff a month...

It sounds like I'm bitching about the biggest first world problem ever, like "BOOHOO I HAVE TOO MUCH CASH TO SPEND", but still...it kinda irks me...
5 vuotta sitten
It's good that you recognize and acknowledge the problem.  As for why your "depression and anxiety are influencing me to make these bad choices", it's probably the rush of endorphins.  Some compulsively shop, some binge on food, some binge on alcohol, or way worse, some take drugs. So while compulsive shopping not a healthy way to deal with things, it's not unheard of.  It's not this hobby that's toxic, it's how and why you're buying things.  You could be doing anything that costs money, and you'll still be stuck in the same situation.

But now that you consciously recognize what you're doing, you can take steps to manage it.  For one, go back to and stick to your budget.  If you bid on an auction, assume you're going to lose, but budget as if you're going to win. (This is what I do with my budget. XD)  That way, you won't over-win like you did again.  And really ask yourself why you're bidding on or buying something.  Is it the thrill of participating in an auction?  The thrill of new purchase?  Or is it something you really, really want?

On the other hand, about your husband's smoking, like SKULLKID said, e-cigs are not a good thing.  Like at the FDA page for example:
E-cigarettes have not been fully studied, so consumers currently don’t know:
• the potential risks of e-cigarettes when used as intended;
• how much nicotine or other potentially harmful chemicals are being inhaled during use; or,
•whether there are any benefits associated with using these products.


So you see, e-cigs are still a largely undocumented and unregulated invention, and we can't be sure of the potential scope of the damage it can cause.  And if he does unfortunately become sick from that, then it's going to affect the both of you.  Then there's the case of second-hand and third-hand smoke. (Third-hand smoke is a real thing, it's when the toxins of cigarette smoke cling to clothing, furniture, carpeting and other surfaces.)  So no, it does not just affect him.

And have you two even talked about having a baby?  For all his talk about you dipping into the beginning of the baby funds, has he tried to actually quit smoking?  Because, you know *points up*, second-hand and third-hand smoke. Not good for pregnant women and babies especially.
5 vuotta sitten
Be happy you have a stable income and a spouse who will help you with this. I went on a shopping spree earlier this month and then was promptly let go (I'm a contractor so this happens pretty much every 5 months or so), causing me to dive into my savings account and basically use up what was left in there.... Don't know how I'm going to keep on, I have a lot of pre-orders that I have not yet paid for coming in July.

also, e-cigs are just as damaging with 2nd-hand smoke. It's basically just slightly better than a regular cigarette, and I'm not sure where this idea that it's "better for you" came from. (www.medicalnews...)
5 vuotta sitten
Great post and thank you for sharing with us! I think it will defiantly make people think twice if they really want something or not :) ♥
5 vuotta sitten
You know, I truly and honestly mean this, if I hadn't accomplished it a mere few hours ago, this... THIS post would have saved me!

In fact, I haven't even made my first figure purchase and was just about to when I came across this, so I believe I can genuinely say that this post, or more specifically, that your resolve has greatly helped to reinforce the path I've chosen.

I definitely felt that buyer's rush and I've never felt that before. It was one part just how amazing this "world" of figures is and one part that I've been feeling somehow dead inside, at times, in places... So this is adding something new and exciting to my life.

And I say this despite having told myself not to give up on greater things no matter how I feel, restricted in what figures I really even want (find sentimental value in) because I only began watching anime seasonally as of 2014, as well as feeling and having stayed committed up to now to not spending the 500 bucks I set aside for "anything" in a rash manner. Despite all that I still felt that rush despite not having bought my first figure.

Now, a week later after deciding to venture into this world, I've avoided the rush. I've found the best deals that I possibly can (even if I feel strange about not paying the usual price). I've made sure that I'm buying characters and from lines that I truly find value in (even if I know of upcoming characters I want even more).

So, Hatsune Miku 2.0 and Shinobu Oshino of the figma line, I'll see them soon... and I feel even more reassured and comfortable than I did hours ago thanks to the experience you've shared. I wish I could do more than say "thank you", but THANK YOU VERY MUCH for helping to make my first figure collecting experience the best that it could be, Raychur!

₍₍(ง˘ω˘)ว⁾⁾
5 vuotta sitten
I'm fairly certain we're the same person! These past two months I have gone absolutely CRAZY with buying CCS merch, and I REALLY need to stop.

Let's keep a tighter grip on our budgets from now on ;^;
5 vuotta sitten
I totally understand where you're coming from, because I sort of feel this way. When I started this hobby last year, I knew how to control myself, but since this year I've been spending more than what I planned. This happens because I get a je ne c'est qoui when I shop online, which is a little scary lol. Right now I'm trying to control myself before I spend a large amount and I regret it, it's going well right now but at moments I cave in and add one or two more things to my pre-orders. So honestly, I don't know what to tell you because I'm in the same boat, just good luck!
5 vuotta sitten
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